At McSweeney’s River Clegg makes a plea. “I get it. Things are scary right now. The environment is collapsing, democracy is eroding, and the worst pandemic in a century shows no signs of ending. It makes sense that you want a couple hours of escapism with the latest Batman movie—a brief respite when you can catch up with the caped crusader in a dark, gritty film that caters to your adult tastes while rekindling your memories of childhood.

But guess what? I am a child, and I would like a fucking Batman movie aimed at me, please.

Yeah, I said ‘fuck’ just then, and I will receive a time-out for it. That’s how it works when you’re eight years old, but I don’t care.”

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